Jewish Weddings

The Ketubah

In Jewish tradition there is a Marriage contract, called a Ketubah, that defines the relationship in terms of commitment and financial aspects. Many couples today prefer to write their own contract reflecting their own joint perspective of their commitment, one to the other.
The word ketubah literally means "that which is written." It is a contract that a man makes with a woman, obligating the chatan (the groom) to serve, cherish, sustain, and support the kallah (the bride) in truth.
Traditionally, It is interesting to note that although the entire ketubah is written in Aramaic, the language of the Babylonian Jews, the date is written in Hebrew. In particular, the Hebrew word for month, chodesh, is used. The word chodesh is derived from the word chadash, meaning "new," and it therefore denotes renewal.
Every wedding may be seen as the beginning of a new world.

The Bedeken

After the ketubah is signed, the chatan (groom) approaches the kallah (bride) and lifts the veil over her face.
The custom of bedeken recalls the predicament of Jacob, who thought he was marrying Rachel only to discover, after the ceremony, that he had married Leah. The tradition now is that a chatan (groom) and kallah (bride) see each other before the ceremony thereby avoiding such confusion.
The veiling of the kallah (bride) makes her hekdesh (literally, set apart in holiness) and symbolizes what the chatan (groom) values most in her.
Beauty may fade with time but the woman's spiritual qualities are something she will never lose. The veil, which physically separates them, also serves to remind them that they remain distinct individuals even as they unite in marriage

The Kippah

The Kippah (yarmulke) is the traditional Jewish head covering. It is worn by Jewish men as a mark of respect in the presence of God. Some men wear one at all times, and some only in a synagogue, while praying, or at ceremonies.

The Chuppah

The chatan (groom) and kallah (bride), accompanied by their parents, are led to the chuppah, which represents the new home about to be created. Open on all four sides, the chupah is reminiscent of Abraham's house which had entrances on all four sides in order to warmly welcome any approaching guests.

Circling

When the kallah (bride) reaches the chupah she circles the chatan (groom) seven times. Some sources indicate that this is done to represent the seven revolutions that the earth made during the seven days of creation. As the marriage represents the creation of a new world, the kallah (bride) walks around the chatan (groom) to indicate that these seven cycles are now being repeated.
When Joshua, the son of Nun and the student of Moses, led the children of Israel against the city of Jericho, he was instructed to circle the city seven times thereby inducing the walls of the city to crumble. As two people enter into marriage there are many “walls” that exist between them. The couple faces the challenge of breaking down these walls so that they may learn to communicate and share more completely while they continue their growth as individuals.

The Kiddushin

The kiddushin or erusin (consecration or betrothal) begins with two blessings recited by the Rabbi over a cup of wine. Both Chatan (groom) and Kallah (bride) partake of the wine. The chatan (groom) declares, "Harey-at mikudeshes li, kidas Moshe v'Yisroel", "Behold, you are consecrated unto me with this ring in accordance with the laws of Moses and Israel." This traditional formula known as the Harey-at contains 32 letters. In Hebrew, the number 32 is written out using the letters lamed and beth. This spells out the word lev, which means heart. The chatan (groom) then places a simple band on the forefinger of the Kallah's (bride’s) right hand. This custom made it easier to show the witness that the bride had received the ring. By accepting the ring, the kallah (bride) agrees to enter the marriage.

Sheva Brachot

The ketubah is then read and seven nuptial blessings (sheva brachot) are recited :

1) Baruch ata HaShem elochainu melech haolam, shehakol barah lichvodo
You are blessed, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who created everything for his glory

2) Baruch ata HaShem elochainu melech haolam, yotzer ha'adam
You are blessed, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, the creator of man.

3) Baruch ata HaShem elochainu melech haolam, asher yatzar et ha'adam betzalmo, b'tzelem dmut tavnito, vehitkon lo mimenu binyan adei ad. Baruch ata HaShem yotzer ha'adam
You are blessed, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who created man in His image, in the pattern of His own likeness, and provided for the perpetuation of his kind. You are blessed, Lord, the creator of man

4) Sos tasis vetagel ha'akarah, bekibbutz bane'ha letocha be simchaa. Baruch ata HaShem, mesame'ach tzion bevaneha
Let the barren city be jubilantly happy and joyful at her joyous reunion with her children. You are blessed, Lord, who makes Zion rejoice with her children

5) Sameach tesamach re'im ahuvim, kesamechacha yetzircha began eden mikedem. Baruch ata HaShem, mesame'ach chatan vekalah
Let the loving couple be very happy, just as You made Your creation happy in the garden of Eden, so long ago. You are blessed, Lord, who makes the bridegroom and the bride happy

6) Baruch ata HaShem elochainu melech haolam, asher barah sasson vesimcha, chatan vekalah, gila rina, ditza vechedva, ahava veachava, veshalom vere'ut. Mehera HaShem Elocheinu yishama bearei yehudah u'vchutzot yerushalayim, kol sasson v'ekol simcha, kol chatan v'ekol kalah, kol mitzhalot chatanim mechupatam, u'nearim mimishte neginatam. Baruch ata HaShem mesame'ach chatan im hakalah
You are blessed, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, who created joy and celebration, bridegroom and bride, rejoicing, jubilation, pleasure and delight, love and brotherhood, peace and friendship. May there soon be heard, Lord our G-d, in the cities of Judea and in the streets of Jerusalem, the sound of joy and the sound of celebration, the voice of a bridegroom and the voice of a bride, the happy shouting of bridegrooms from their weddings and of young men from their feasts of song. You are blessed, Lord, who makes the bridegroom and the bride rejoice together.

7) Baruch ata HaShem elochainu melech haolam, boreh pri hagafen
You are blessed, Lord our G-d, the sovereign of the world, creator of the fruit of the vine

Breaking the Glass

Concluding the ceremony, the chatan (groom) breaks a glass as a reminder of the destruction of the second Beit Hamikdosh, the second Holy Temple, the frailty of human relationships and the existence of human suffering. This action is a personal reminder that just as we accept joy into our lives we recognize that there may also be times of sorrow.

The Yichud

Immediately after the ceremony, the couple retires to a room where they break their fast which they began in the morning. This is also an important time for the couple as it provides a few private moments to reflect on the day's events and share in one another's company.
In biblical times, the Yichud was when the physical consummation of the marriage occured to make sure that the bride was a virgin and that the couple was compatible and could withhold the mitzvah of having children.